Globe Broadband - Tattoo

Let's pretend we get the message. Prepaid internet is so affordable and accessible, you can practically walk around with it etched to your skin. Did you get that on first viewing? Neither did I. But we do get the subliminal message, and it's sex. The genius of the ad is that it turns corporate logos like Yahoo, Friendster, Multiply, and MTV into eye-popping ink art. On rock-hard caramel bodies, of course. Who knew logos could be so lickable?

GRADE: A-

Related Link:
Frannyye's YouTube Channel

KFC Shrimp Surfers Commercial

The commercials think outing homosexuals is funny. I would say wait, in real life, it's potentially very serious matter to the gay person, especially if the outing is not by his own initiative. But these admakers sure do make it funny.

In an all-male table meeting, an office dude tells his mates that someone is hiding a secret, and that he has just the thing to make him squeal. He proceeds to open a box of KFC, and, alas, someone indeed squeals. The image that follows is a few short seconds of performance comedy gold. Who is this actor who plays the closet office worker? With quivering fingers and a face tangled in knots of anxiety, he makes the surprise revelation work. Kudos, too, to the actor who does his nervous voice: "May shrimp na sa KFC, pare."

Like me, you may argue that an effeminate reaction doesn't necessarily mean a guy is gay, and that it's just another old stereotype used by marketers who want to say they include people like us in their agenda. But then, nowhere in the commercial is "gay" ever mentioned, so maybe the copywriters have pulled a clever trick on us -- winking at something we conclude for ourselves. More likely, the spot is aimed at the young urban office demographic, no matter which gender. Who can't relate to having a co-worker with a secret?

You may also wonder why his business buddies would want to out him in the first place, except only to have an excuse for a group hug, and to reassure him (and each other) that "We accept you." I guess that's the consolation. Outing is funny business, but it becomes feel-good with acceptance. Let's ignore the excuses that the guy makes as the advert closes. Maybe he's not ready yet, even though the good-looking men around him seem too eager to press their bodies against him. The great positive message in this commercial is not in the homosexual who comes out, but in the straight men who are unafraid to express tolerance and intimacy.

GRADE: B+

Related Links:
Ad at YouTube
Photo Still From Commercial
A Different Opinion By David Corpuz

Bench Billboard -- Dingdong Dantes

Looking back, what heralded this year’s summer was the image of actor Dingdong Dantes in briefs on billboards sprouting across Metro Manila. It got people talking and announced the impending heat. The biggest and best was a humongous horizontal display at the foot of North Luzon Expressway.

I’m convinced a calculation of the billboards' surface area would reveal it was designed to contain as much flesh as possible, with the model practically spilling over the edges. The effect is like an invasion of a giant. I’m not too keen on the photography itself, and the modeling seems freakish; but you have to admit: It makes you look, duck for cover, or kneel in worship. If only all eyesores were as bold.

GRADE: B

Related Links:
News on the Campaign Launch
More Press Photos
Dingdong Dantes on Simply Manila
Dingdong Dantes on Wikipedia
Official Bench Site

Master Hair Wax Billboard

Sorry about the blurry picture. This giant billboard, spotted at the South Luzon Expressway, doesn't show skin, but it's all about sex anyway. The model's face -- who is he? -- is pure sex. His grin is seductive but playful. And erect hairstrands inserted through an inverted basketball hoop is also sex. I love it.

GRADE: B+

Related Link:
Model Sassan Shokouhi in Cosmo's Bachelor Bash

Sunkist Iced Tea - "Basketball"

Just how many commercials out there feature a finger running down a sweaty chest, ass-grabbing, chest-bumping, and three peeling off of basketball jerseys, one of which reveals a shaved armpit -- in 30 seconds?

This ad for Sunkist Iced Tea may or may not be homophobic, I'm still not sure. We're supposed to laugh at the idea of a basketball player (who's MVP, so he must be macho), suddenly turned "honest" after drinking the iced tea, and divulges -- in a flamboyant manner -- his real motivations for playing the game: the boys. The ad subverts stereotypes (that athletes, particularly in the macho sport of basketball, can be gay too) even as it feeds on them (they're in the closet and their "true" selves are sex-obsessed screaming faggots). The last reaction of the teammate on the right is point for discussion. However, the guys are hot, and the display of skin is delicious. Who are these terrific models? I didn't really find it funny, and I don't know if it effectively sells its product, but it has instantly become one of my favorite commercials for all time. I can't stop watching it.

GRADE: A-

Related Links:
Same ad on YouTube
Sunkist Iced Tea-"Movie"
Commercial Closet
Best Gay Commercials according to David Paul Robinson