CosmoMen 2009

So according to Cosmopolitan magazine, this year’s hottest bachelors are all greasy and/or sweaty. Who cares about individual personalities anymore? They’re all models, groomed to fit the bad boy sex appeal concept. Maybe that’s the statement: To be hot nowadays, you must be dangerous, or at least know how to hold a cue stick or a motorbike. If you’re one of those who pipe about the inclusion of so-called non-wholesome elements (Bold stars? Callboys? Aren’t they in the list every year?), consider that maybe it’s all part of the masterplan of naughtiness, or the editors only care about bodies anyway. Besides, could anything be more shameless than to cast kids as fantasy objects? Everyone is young-looking (no one below 30), if not downright barely legal – Gerald Anderson on the cover! Aljur Abrenica looks like he got beaten up! And because most of us will never really get to date any of them, let’s rate the photo spread for the piece of erotica that it is: It’s great.

GRADE: B+

Related Links:
Photos of the Ten Centerfolds
CosmoMen 2008

Star Studio Magazine - October 2008 - Sexy Dozen

"12 Most Sizzling Boys Under 23". Why 23? Is that the screen age youngish actors can get away with? The point is that the guys are young and Star Studio Magazine got them shirtless. The insane appeal of these monochromatic snapshots lies in the thin line between innocent and sexy, boyish and manly. Bravo. The armpits are delicious. Everyone should have been made to raise their arms. Only one shirtless photo per boy? What a tease. I demand to see the outtakes from those photo shoots. I demand it, dammit.

The shirtless boys are: Gerald Anderson, JC De Vera, Enchong Dee, Robi Domingo, Jake Cuenca, Aljur Abrenica, Carlo Guevara, Joem Bascon, Marvin Raymundo, Rayver Cruz, Jason Abalos, and Matt Evans.

GRADE: B+

Related Link:
Star Studio Magazine Blog

Invoice Magazine - Premiere Issue 2008

You've got to admire the debut of an article-heavy gay magazine after Icon, L, and Generation Pink have folded. Damn, we miss those, don't we? Invoice announces itself as a "GLBT Business and Advocacy Journal" (what a mouthful!), and it's serious about being serious. It doesn't even employ the sexy come-on tactics as those previous literate rags -- no naked men portfolios! Which is not totally a bad thing, but must the layout be unsexy too? The content is not exactly meat and potatoes facts and figures as the cover suggests. With features on outstanding role models and an especially helpful spotlight on gay hang-outs in major cities in the Philippines, Invoice reads like an interesting lifestyle magazine trying to dress up as an old politician's operation manual. It could benefit from a little more flair. Even the name is dry. For a gay magazine, Invoice is a little too straight. The plus side is that it does look discreet when you read it in the train or at the doctor's office.

Special mention goes to an article about gay indie films, and not only because The Bakla Review is cited as a reference, hehe. I have a few beef to raise with the chronology of its historical facts and simplistic generalizations, but that's because I'm anal about the subject. Maybe a discussion about it some other time. However, the research-based approach to talking about movies is welcome, especially amidst lazy top-of-the-head thoughts that pass for writing in media today. The aforementioned focus on gay clubs and bars is a better gauge for what's good about this issue -- not exactly the writing (which is sometimes bordering on ass-kissing PR), or the photos (which can be more striking), but for the general direction of its inclusive, non-Manila-centric outlook, and its promise that a GLBT publication can offer information you didn't know you wanted to know, tackle issues seriously, and possibly, please dear god, possibly have fun.

GRADE: B-

Related Links:
3rd Media Publishing Official Site
Where To Buy "Invoice"
Review By Lobster Tony
"Where is Icon Magazine?" By Discreet Manila

CosmoMen 2008

Bruce Quebral

Overall an improved list from last year's, mainly because not everyone is a model this time. In Cosmopolitan Magazine's 69 Bachelors 2008, there are plenty students/models. And when they're just plain students, I bet they're actually angling to become models, if they aren't already in the roster of a modeling agency. How else were they able to assemble such a large cast if not for agents and auditions? Also, I really have to wonder why some are just plain "students" while others are specialized, like "mechanical engineering student" or "financial management student". Exactly what kind of courses add to papa appeal?

It's great to see a couple of working nurses in there, because it's a sign the editors considered the larger population. So, what, no call center agents? Not a hot enough profession for you? It's also nice to see someone over age 30, finally. And a dentist who's 19 -- What?! And a couple of musicians, who actually play rock, so I wonder if "musician" now sounds hotter than "rock star". But the winner judgment is in including seven professional rugby players in one spread. Because, although we're sure these guys are yummy individually, we know what this annual special called Cosmo Men is really about: abundance.

The ten centerfolds are hit-and-miss, as always. The only real surprise is basketball player Macky Escalona, who's a student athlete but not a model, or not yet, in a slightly more conservative version of Paul Artadi's naked balls-y pose in 2003. He looks like he's not enjoying the photo shoot, which makes it simultaneously adorable and annoying. Hip-hop artist Billy Crawford, though a cool choice, botches it with a shot that doesn't know what it wants to show us. Undereye shadows and an arm tattoo in a formless slouch? He, with two others, Paolo Contis and coverboy Derek Ramsay, are photographed only from the waist up, which is a boring cop-out considering about six dozen other men are half-naked too.

Finally, since this magazine is supposed to be for the ladies, I have to ask: Do women find it sexier when men are photoshopped to look like porcelain molds? What's wrong with pores? And, do none of you ever fantasize about blue collar workers? Is this absence from year to year indicative of the Pinay's perception of an ideal mate or simply the editors' narrow-mindedness? And, aren't you just bored of everyone talking about girls when you really know better?

GRADE: B

Related Link:
Photos of 2008 Cosmo Hunks
Review: Cosmo Men 2007

Chalk Magazine - July 2008

One year ago, The Bakla Review debuted with a review of Chalk Magazine's annual UAAP/NCAA basketball special. Well, it's been a year, and the 2008 edition is here. There's even less basketball content in this one, if you can believe it, but somebody must have heard my gay prayers because this time, some boys are showing some serious skin. A six-page spread on select NCAA players (one for each participating school) is fan-tastic. The editors chose some actual hotties this time, and they're styled and photographed for a rough sexy appeal. Meanwhile, the boys from the other league, the UAAP, are dressed up to look stiff and boring, while everywhere else, it's the usual girly articles and shameless product placements. What those great but scant six pages really need to do is go forth and multiply. Maybe next year.

GRADE: B

Related Link:
Review of Chalk Magazine July 2007

The Studs Calendar Magazine 2008

So you think you're satisfied with the pics you see on the net? There's nothing like holding this baby in your two hands. The pages are big, the quality crisp -- details like the fine hairs growing on the armpit or around the belly button or the delicate contours of nipples or the pores of skin are vivid and savory and nearly life-size. I'm tempted to curl up in bed next to the pages.

The eight models are members of a soon-to-be-launched boy group called The Studs. Not all of them are at par with my personal taste in men, but there's no denying each of them look especially good, photographed spectacularly well. The X-Ray Books have thus far been consistently exquisite works of beauty. The lesson here is that execution and quality of production are as important as the models employed.

It's not a full calendar though, and that's my only gripe. Some photos are cut visually down the middle by the line that separates two adjacent pages. A full-spread centerfold would allow an unobstructed view of Dion Ignacio's underwear bulge, for example. But once you accept that this is really a photo booklet more than a calendar, then it's easy to see it's the best of its kind out there -- its virtues a possible template for others to follow. A warning to the discreet buyer: You need a large bag in which to fit it. God, I love it when it's big.

GRADE: A

Related Link:
X-Ray Book Yahoo Group

Valentino Magazine -- The Twink Edition (Volume 2 Issue 9)

Andro Morgan and JV Roxas

Seems my favorite magazine can never go wrong, even though it seems to be running out of fresh concepts. Fine, put coverboy JV Roxas and Marco Gonzales in corny T-shirts, but it's frustrating to not see more of their bodies; I don't care if the boys are a little flabby because that's kind of appealing too. Most of the models in this issue are the youthful winners of the Search For Mr. Valentino 2007 contest, though by now are not exactly new faces anymore. I wish they'd been more imaginative and daring in their poses to compensate.

Speaking of the contest, there's a recap here that makes me drool for more photos or videos of the event. I'm definitely buying whatever is released. Hint, hint.

The centerfold is a nice addition. I'm hungry to see more of the guys' goods though. I wonder why Valentino can't push towards a more all-out direction, instead of settling on a safe, stale plateau. And whatever happened to Coverboy Magazine? Didn't it used to be the "twink" sister of Valentino? I hope it didn't die yet. This twink edition hardly replaces.

GRADE: B

Related Link:
Snapshots of Search For Mr. Valentino

Cosmo Men 2007

The happiest universal timepost of yet another year gone by is not Christmas, not New Year's, but Cosmopolitan magazine's annual roundup of 69 Gorgeous Bachelors and 10 Male Centerfolds. True, it's been disappointing the past couple of years, but this year brings one big surprise: They got almost all of the men to pose half-naked in well-produced photo shoots -- not just the star centerfolds. The special featurette is finally the cover-to-cover visual smorgasbord of yumminess it always could have been. However, I get the feeling that the editors deliberately choose safe photos over risque. Not one shot is truly ball-grabbing. I'm still waiting for them to top the Paul Artadi spread back in 2003. He was an average goodlooker captured at his sexiest. Today, we're seeing a lot of hot men with unutilized potential.

Astounding to see so many models or model-slash-somethings. It's a model's world, apparently. Not one bachelor over 30. A definitive catalog of current Pinoy male beauty it is not. The blurbs about how much they love women are as boring as ever (or as unbelievable).

Special mention to Jake Cuenca, who's the one irrefutable item on the top 10. He's the only one who still feels like a fresh discovery (unlike, say, coverboy Dingdong Dantes who's been popular for ages) while at the same time seems like he's due his spotlight (unlike Bruno Folster, who's yet to prove an impact on the public). Jake Cuenca is the most exquisite man in showbiz right now. Which is really just a euphemism for I'm-madly-in-crush-with-Jake-Cuenca-and-I'd-sell-my-soul-to-the-devil-to-sex-him.

GRADE: B+

Related Links:
Cosmo Bash 2007 Photos by Vince Lopez
Cosmo Bash 2007 Photos by Jujiin
Cosmo Bash 2007 Candid Video

Red Hot Magazine - No. 4

Dave Rebolledo

The three models baring for this issue oddly look alike, with similar lean bodies and facial features. I couldn't tell where one begins and another ends. Ivan Maxwell, RG San Jose, and coverboy Dave Rebolledo, though each good-looking (I'll have sex with any of them), have unfortunately been bunched together to emphasize their ordinariness. It's as if the magazine strives to look generic.

Red Hot is one of today's "lesser" sexy male mags, even though its pages are bigger and the price is about the same as more popular titles. Red Hot scrimps on content. Only three models? I think articles in magazines are overrated too, so I welcome cover-to-cover pictures and the occassional bio, but those photos better pack some punch. The photography here is often common and unimaginative. I wished someone dangled his dick in full view just to break the monotony of the bakat (bulge). The printing, murky and flat in dull colors, does justice to neither the models nor the photography. It can be redder and hotter than this. Maybe next issue? Which I can't wait to see. Because although shots of reclining men and tight undies tend to be boring when it's all that's offered repeatedly, I'll take what I can get.

GRADE: C

Chalk Magazine - July 2007

Every year, Chalk, a lifestyle magazine aimed at the female college set, releases a college basketball issue -- or, more accurately, a UAAP/NCAA basketball issue, featuring the two most anticipated, corporate-sponsored, and revenue-earning leagues in the country. It's always a double flip cover issue. On one side, the UAAP. Turn it around and upside down, and it's the NCAA. The special is never really about the sport, but about the boys of the league. I await this issue every year.

And every year I'm disappointed. But I don't stop buying. The boys handpicked by the editors and staff aren't always the hottest, but that's a matter of taste and sharp scouting. Some of my favorite players have never been immortalized in these pages. However the most popular college crushes are usually in there, and there are always really cute ones. The issue stopped being wonderful in 2005, but the high point was the 2004 issue. It had more features on the boys with brief confessionals that make me think about sex and larger photos, including sweaty team pics, that make me think about sex. It contained basketball statistics and some sports analysis. Gone are those good stuff. The actual hoops-related content got leaner, in favor of more usual girly "kikay" features. What the mag retained through the years are the fashion spreads where the lads are dolled up in non-revealing, cumbersome clothing. In short, Chalk's idea of sexy is so Hello Kitty, you'd think they're doing this for the girls. Wait, they are. I'll keep buying this issue every year hoping they come to their senses.

GRADE: C-

Related Links:
Chalk Blog
Chalk Friendtser
Chalk Corporate
Chalk July 2007 as featured on the news
Sparksfire's Top College Hoop Hotties