Hole in the Wall

The game show, adapted from Japan's Brain Wall, has a concept that's genius in its silly physical inventiveness: Players must try to fit their bodies through a hole in the wall to avoid falling into a pool of water. The Philippine version on GMA Network ups the fun by hiring Ogie Alcasid and Michael V. as hosts in drag -- spoiled brat Angelina and her hardworking nanny Yaya, respectively -- characters they popularized in the gag show Bubble Gang. Every episode (weekdays) is a well-written comedy sketch. The gender bender gets even more ticklish whenever the perpetually smiling and perpetually shirtless lifeguard Edouard (Edouard George) -- who never speaks -- is summoned as the ultimate unrequited crush. Add to that, contestants in bodysuits -- sometimes they're hunky celebrities -- and you've got the gayest (as in happiest) diversion on afternoon TV right now.

GRADE: A

Related Links:
Pics of Edouard George
More Pics of Edouard George
Edouard George Models For Fabe Clothing
News: Edouard George Picks Hole in the Wall Over Mossimo Summit
Brain Wall on Wikipedia

Pinoy Fear Factor

If in Survivor Philippines, the contestants are running around half-naked all the time, Pinoy Fear Factor has bodies almost always covered. When doing stunts, they're padded with lots of protective gear, effectively concealing their bikinis. When at rest, they're buried under bulky warm clothing. (The show was shot in the middle of winter in Argentina.) So even though the guys assembled are cute to hot, this is no flesh marathon.

But Fear Factor has always been sneakily sexy (those quick bikini changes), and also sexy-weird: With pretty faces mussied by cockroaches or skinny dipping against snakes, bodies hurtled and abused, crashing into metal and glass, vomiting, the assorted paraphernalia and some participants' shaved armpits, this is likely guilty pleasure for the extreme fetishist.

That said, the network's attempts to spice up the show with vanilla -- such as "punishments" for losers, which include stripdancing (Jommy Teotico) and serving food in women's bikini (Marion Dela Cruz), or building up kilig loveteams or hyping the possibility that one contestant might be gay (Marion again) -- seems slightly incongruous to the hardcore nature of the game. Ultimately, the real hook of Pinoy Fear Factor is that it's the most elaborate obstacle course on TV, a completely watchable sports program on primetime.

The male "participantes" are Elmer Felix, Jommy Teotico, Jose Sarasola, Manuel Chua, Marion Dela Cruz, Ram Sagad, RJ Calipus. The women are hot too, but you didn't hear that from me. Hosted by Ryan Agoncillo, who's cute but pose-y.

GRADE: B

Related Links:
At ABS-CBN.Com
At Multiply
Teaser on Truveo
Primer on YouTube
Press: Marion Dela Cruz Denies Being Gay
Jommy Teotico Striptease
Jose Sarasola Bitten By Snake

What was the Hottest Pinoy TV Moment of 2008?

It's scientifically impossible to watch everything on TV, even in the age of TiVo. That is why we rely on each other to tell us what we missed.

Thus, this survey. What was the hottest thing you saw on TV in the last twelve months? A particular hunk doing a particular thing on a particular soap, perhaps? Anything sexy from the reality shows, variety, sports, comedies, documentaries, news, even commercials? It could be a moment as quick as a blink of an eye or one that lasts an entire episode. Post your pick(s) in the comments section. A video link to convince us would be nice.

To get the ball rolling, I submit my first nomination.

For your consideration...

Ejay Falcon Makes a Tarzan Entrance in Pinoy Big Brother Teen Edition Plus

My MVP: Most Valuable Pinoy

My MVP Winner Luis Palaganas (left), Finalist Adrian Pellejera (right), with guru Alex Compton

Quick, name the current reality show with the largest cast of crushable manly men! If you said Survivor Philippines or Pinoy Fear Factor, you're wrong. My MVP: Most Valuable Pinoy, on the revamped TV5 network, is a search for the next basketball superstar in the Philippines, and boy, does it have a lot of men. The show began with hundreds of applicants, whittled down to a top 25 for training camp, then to a final team of 12. The hosts are Bayani Agbayani and Jason Webb, with Norman Black and other coaches playing key mentor roles. The first episodes capitalized on the comedy factor of not-hot, typically unathletic wannabes, but also showed some undeniably cute players. Choice personalities got mini-features on their life stories, and, at its most touching and human, My MVP plays like Hoop Dreams for an entire nation. It's hard not to root for all the Filipino men taking a chance -- for some, a second chance -- at pro glory. Now, that's what I call a reality contest.

Too bad the show doesn't seem to be aware of its sexy potential. There's a fly-on-the-wall journalistic approach to coverage that makes it look like news footage. It lacks the clean elegance and jolty sensationalism that can make people ogle and swoon at the exciting events and personalities, which is what the most addictive game shows offer. Like sitting on upper box B, you'd have to squint and keep from blinking to relish the muscles and sweat.

The one advantage of buying an established international franchise like Survivor is that the format has already been perfected. With shifty focus and too-loose story editing, My MVP is a sometimes messy viewing experience. I even forget what the guys are playing for, and what the rules are exactly. I didn't even know this week's challenge against PBA veterans was to be the last episode. (The show bows this week.) I should have promoted this show earlier, with this unsolicited advice: If My MVP stepped up to woo a gay audience plus women who are only into the game because of the boys, we would have new basketball idols right now with obsessive following. Hey, there were at least a couple of homoerotic jokes thrown by the boys during the show's run, and we all know sports is gay anyway. Let's hope for a second season.

GRADE: B-

Project Runway Philippines

Eli Gonzales

Can you imagine a show on a major network like ABS-CBN OR GMA with so many queer personalities for an entire hour week after week? Right, you can't. That's why Project Runway Philippines, as done on cable channel ETC, wisely sticks to the perfectly good format and tone of the famous international franchise, perhaps the best reality program showcasing real talent. Watching it is like peering into a hidden world (from TV, anyway), the world of Philippine fashion designers, where "individuality" is valued (see contestants' first challenge) and "personality" is the conduit. The language may be something we hear from our colorful friends in real life, but not on TV. After calling her work crap, Ava Paguyo quips she must "un-crap" it. The show trusts this strangeness to translate, and that's a relatively brave move on Philippine television. Similarly, whenever someone utters the word "fabulous", it sounds like the most overkilled cliche that it is.

Speaking of personality, there's enough of it to keep things interesting. Eli Gonzales bounces like a floozy gym bunny, and his cheerful nonchalance is refreshing amidst the stress. Conversely, Veejay Floresca reminds me of a classroom drama queen -- his competitiveness is hardwired to his being emotional. I think the judges were too hard on Eli during the Hip-Hop Challenge, when they preferred Veejay's work, even as it infracted the rules, to further underline how much they hated Eli's. I wonder if the fact that Eli is the show's cutest guy has anything to do with it. We always tend to undermine the intelligence of attractive people, don't we? It makes more sense in our gay world. I'm rooting for Philipp Tampus in the final three showdown soon, only because he seems like a consistently solid, grounded, and humble person, almost like husband material. And my God, is Jaz Cerezo a man, a woman, or the first transsexual on national weekly TV who isn't a comic relief but an actual society-contributing talented individual with a voice? The judges have apparently been cast based on how much they resemble their U.S. counterparts. Is Rajo Laurel channeling Michael Kors? I don't know if "mentor" Jojie Lloren was of any actual help to the contestants, but those eyeglasses sure made the part.

But for all its noble stabs at integrity, Project Runway Philippines also, inadvertently, shines an unflattering light on the insularity of the fashion scene in the Philippines. One of the prizes is a shot at Philippine Fashion Week? Seriously, any of these contestants have enough talent to pull it off on their own. (Two have done it already prior to joining the show.) And Mega Magazine doesn't have the influence of Elle, not even in our own country. It doesn't help that, during the Legends of Philippine Fashion Challenge, there are no supporting visuals to cue us to the works of these masters who aren't exactly household names -- a spoiled opportunity at educating viewers. During the Terno Challenge, controversial politician Imelda Marcos guests as a "fashion icon", and it's a telling sign that thus far, Fashionistas in the Philippines have always been a step removed from the sensibilty of the rest of the country and, I guess, the world. Project Runway Philippines can often seem like an aquarium for the elitist self-importance of an entire struggling industry, but also its possibilities, hopes, and desire to create more impact to everyone else outside the circle.

GRADE: B+

Related Links:
Episode Recaps at BaklaAko
Positive Review by Rasheed's World
Negative Review by Jessica Zafra
ETC Official Website
On Wikipedia
Teaser (The Hosts) on YouTube
Episode 1 Runway Show on YouTube
Episode 1 Results on YouTube
Photos From Lord Maturan's Friendster
Eli Gonzales on Friendster

Survivor Philippines

The local version of the reality gameshow Survivor, which premiered this week, appears to be an exact replica of the U.S. format -- but with an advantage: Pinoy brown skin looks damn good in a tropical island setting.

I almost don't care what happens, as long as the hot men keep strutting their shirtless torsos at the beach, exerting their muscles to their physical limits, exposing armpits during tribe meetings, and speaking with testosterone passion. The show is daily eye candy, and already an achievement in focus group casting. The automechanic is a model (John Lopez), the basketball player is a model, though it's never mentioned (JC Tiuseco), the businessman was a Cosmo magazine bachelor (Kiko Rustia), while the driver, sewing machine technician, gym instructor, and sales person (Cris Cartagenas, Emerson Dino, Jace Flores Jr., and Rob Sy) might be models as well, if models acted like real men. Even the 48-year old web designer (Gigit Sulit) is probably a model, a fine daddy specimen. The most plain of the male castaways, looks-wise, is a waiter who's heavy in the midsection (Marlon Carmen), but also seems interesting in his own right. Is it a coincidence that the least hunky guy is also played up to be the main dissenter with a sour attitude?

Grouping and in-fighting are expected story angles, and it looks like it will be a predictably "surprising" season. But what I'm really jonesing to see is how much hotter the men will become as their beards overgrow, their bodies get stinkier, and hunger eats away their stored body fat. If the plot gets boring, or worse, if the personalities turn limp, I can still watch this thing with the mute button on. Oh, the women are hot too, but you didn't hear that from me. The pilot week is barely over, and I'm already waiting for the DVD.

GRADE: B+



Related Links:
Official Website
Opening Billboard on YouTube
Teaser (Male Version) on YouTube
Unofficial Blog 1
Unofficial Blog 2
Fan Blog 3

The Good Times! With Mo, Mojo, and Andi9

Mojo Jojo (right) with "Kirk"

When a fitness instructor named Kirk removes his shirt and gamely flexes for gratuitous shots of his torso flashed again and again, I know I'm watching an excellent show. The Good Times! is the spin-off of the popular radio talk program Good Times with Mo on Metro Manila's 89.9, and -- surprise! -- it makes for fun late-night television. Director RA Rivera and producer Angel Rivero -- minds behind the defunct cultish TV show Strangebrew -- bring the same idiosyncratic flavor to the magazine format; They capture the frenetic, anything-goes energy of radio gab.

The hosts -- a straight guy, a gay guy, and a girl -- don't seem to be as concerned about imparting "information" as they are about being their talkative, goofy selves. Mojo Jojo is a refreshing gay host, in our culture where TV homosexuals often only talk about showbiz gossip or take so much pains to be asexual upstanding role models. Here's an openly gay guy who can carry a show just fine with a flamboyant, sexual, witty personality. He's just like many gay best friends we know. In this week's episode, in which a Fitness First gym is transformed into a playground, Mojo casually claims to have been a former runner and a martial artist, but admits to being misshapen, and can laugh at himself when he can't work the Hercules bar. He begs another trainer for a peek at his abdominals and gluteus maximus, yet he doesn't come off as offensive at all. Plus, his rapport with the straight guy, Mo Twister, is unprecedented in Philippine television: a platonic, comfortable camaraderie in which the straight guy and the gay guy can compete as equals, make fun of each other, and still look like they genuinely love each other as friends.

GRADE: B+

The Good Times! airs Tuesdays at 11:30 PM on Studio 23.

Related Links:
About The TV Show and The Hosts
Negative Review of the TV Show
Radio Show on Multiply
Director RA Rivera on Multiply

Sunkist Iced Tea - "Basketball"

Just how many commercials out there feature a finger running down a sweaty chest, ass-grabbing, chest-bumping, and three peeling off of basketball jerseys, one of which reveals a shaved armpit -- in 30 seconds?

This ad for Sunkist Iced Tea may or may not be homophobic, I'm still not sure. We're supposed to laugh at the idea of a basketball player (who's MVP, so he must be macho), suddenly turned "honest" after drinking the iced tea, and divulges -- in a flamboyant manner -- his real motivations for playing the game: the boys. The ad subverts stereotypes (that athletes, particularly in the macho sport of basketball, can be gay too) even as it feeds on them (they're in the closet and their "true" selves are sex-obsessed screaming faggots). The last reaction of the teammate on the right is point for discussion. However, the guys are hot, and the display of skin is delicious. Who are these terrific models? I didn't really find it funny, and I don't know if it effectively sells its product, but it has instantly become one of my favorite commercials for all time. I can't stop watching it.

GRADE: A-

Related Links:
Same ad on YouTube
Sunkist Iced Tea-"Movie"
Commercial Closet
Best Gay Commercials according to David Paul Robinson

Be Bench The Model Search

Carlo and Kerbie

I didn't watch this show because I have this general notion about corporate-themed reality shows: They suck. In the past, they had been just long advertisements on toothpaste or softdrink or whiskey or whatever, without the unique personality of an actual piece of entertainment.

This currently running show by Bench (the clothing brand) was initially painful to watch. Every frame was emblazoned with the logo or the trademark colors red and white. You can see it behind the hosts, or in chargens, or while celebrities extol the brand's greatness in interviews. And when they cut to commercials, the first ad is, of course, Bench. My eyes hurt watching it. But there was reason to tune in: Aspiring male models. And man, I love those guys.

This week, the remaining bunch were asked to run through trees in only their briefs. In a speech lesson, Kerbie Zamora showed the cameras how he can twist his pink tongue in a knot. I almost kissed my TV set while he did it. I wonder what other nice things they were asked to do in previous eps. I already miss the guys who were booted out: Martin Grogaard who cried a lot, Joey who was discovered as a market vendor in Laguna, and Kerbie who was so hot in his underwear shoot, go look for it! They should have kicked out all the girls instead, and left all six guys for the finale next week. Now that's a show.

It's actually a bad show. Kill this type of reality format already, burn it, and bury the ashes. A panel of judges with expert "wise" words, the routine expulsion ceremony of one contestant every week, "humor" in the video playback -- are all yuck. Piolo Pascual's hosting has a weird, stoned non-presence. I sense he's gushing to himself everytime he has to mention the guys' names. But sometimes the bad shows are impossible to resist. Especially if the cast of boys are adorable.

GRADE: B

Related Links:
Official Site
New Bench Commercial

Pedro Penduko at ang mga Engkantao - Episode 17

Pinoy myth with a gay twist.


John Mullally

There's an evil monster on the loose. He's posing as a callboy in a park and his victims are gay cruisers! How socially relevant! How current events! How odd for an afternoon kiddie program.

The callboy is played by John Avilla (isn't he also Jon Mullally?), who doesn't utter a word, but when transformed into a roof-climbing monster with an endless tongue (he's a tiktik for the gayer times), he sneers like a mad dog, but not so convincingly. He's half-naked when he does it of course, albeit bluish gray with painted-in white veins.

The main terrorized victim is a closeted young bartender played by James Blanco, who's perfectly frazzled, I'm convinced he's done this role before. He escapes the monster callboy, but it stalks him obsessively to finish him. James' fag friend blames his own closetedness for his dillema. If only he'd come out as a proud gay man, he wouldn't have had to lurk in the dark and get himself into trouble. How often do we get a moral lesson like this in network TV? I believe a lot of young viewers could benefit from this.

James comes out on the news to describe his attacker. His face is blurred to protect his identity, but his straight friend recognizes him anyway. He's then forced to come out to his friend -- in tears -- but the friend says he's always suspected it anyway. The friend is played by Oyo Sotto. He's the leader of the team of superheroes on the good side and his interest in pursuing the monster is primarily business -- something about a mission -- and not really, it must be pointed out, a matter of sweet brotherly protection to his gay friend.

Towards the end, the evil female mastermind watches a group of boys in the park from inside her car. Hard to tell if they're pick-uppers or pick-upees. But she does exclaim, "Callboys! Kung saan maraming bakla, nandoon ang mga callboys!" I think she was referring to Malate, which is likely the site of the next showdown. Again, such wisdom in such an unassuming show. The representations of sexual predator-opportunists and homosexual victims of both society and themselves are grand, mythic, brilliant. In a fantasy genre nonetheless.

There are two other running subplots -- one about the youngest little teammate gone missing and a romantic one about a girl -- but the gay plot is most compelling. I've never seen this show before, so I don't know how much of this is an anomaly. But even with a sometimes snail pace, a frustrating block of commercials that sometimes seem longer than the body of the show, and standard special effects that turns sexy into robotic, I like.

By the way, the episode begins with Bruce Quebral as a possessed cop who unbuttons his uniform and peels away his white T-shirt before going into battle. After being defeated by the good guys, he's never to be seen again. I think it's supposed to be a capper to the previous episode, which makes me wish I discovered the pleasures of this show earlier. Do they have topless hunks every week? Oh my.

GRADE: B

Related Links:
On Wikipedia
On ABS-CBN
On Blogadeur