Ang Lihim Ni Kurdapya

This video excerpt contains spoilers.

The men and women on the island have one secret each. Too bad that's all they have. They're as lifeless and inert as the film's mysterious mountain hut: basically a shell of a secret doing nothing. While we wait about an hour before they confess, they keep mum and pretend there's drama. There's none. This is not a movie; it's a test of patience.

The secrets aren't shocking either. SPOILER ALERT! The married guy is gay, no surprise. He's played by Emilio Garcia, no surprise. His lover is Paolo Rivero, no surprise. To indicate that his secret is ruining his marriage, he grunts and acts like a snot. For his big revelation, he simply says it aloud. So much for struggling with a secret. John Apacible plays a cocky drifter who's supposedly numbed by constant attention from both sexes. They may sound like sexy roles, but you're better off watching these actors' better, sexier movies. Here, they're practically neutered by lack of personality.

But the real mystery is the origin of this movie, which emerged from nowhere. When was it made? What was the original title? Who made it? Both director and writer are uncredited. Are they ashamed, understandably? With no one else to blame, why not veteran cinematographer Romy Vitug, who obviously prioritized pretty colors over motivation and natural movement? Or Sony's Cinealta camera, which curiously gets marquee billing? No toy should ever be substitute for good material. That's no secret.

GRADE: F